Day 24: Papa

Papa was my grandfather. He passed away when I was 5 years old. I did not get a lot of time with him, but from what I remember he was the best!

Papa gave me my very favorite stuffed animal: Mr. Bear. I got him as a present when I was born. He was a fluffy pink teddy bear. I grew up with Mr. Bear and he got me through everything! I slept with him cuddled in my arms every single night. I still want for Mr. Bear when I am sad. He absorbed so many tears over the years. Now his fur is faded and a little bit matted, but I think that is only a sign of how much he was loved! I wish Papa knew that he gave me my favorite toy ever. I suppose he probably does.

My earliest memory is of him. I remember being on a blanket on the floor in my grandparent's house and rolling over to his feet. I remember him smiling at me and laughing at me. Psychologists say that your first memory, whether it actually occurred or you think it occurred, sets the framework for your perspective on life. I think that is pretty interesting. I love that Papa was my first memory.

Papa was so cool. He was handsome, kind, funny, a great dancer, and very romantic. He and my grandmother got married very young and then he went off to war. He had a really neat role in WWII and I still love looking at all of his pictures and journals. I wish I knew more about his journeys.

Papa holds a very special place in my heart. When I am in Conway I still go to his grave and talk to him. I know that sounds crazy, and no, I don't think he is still there and can hear me, but it helps me. It gives me a place of reference. Sometimes he shows up in my dreams. I love it when that happens. I think it is a blessing when I have those dreams. I know Papa is in Heaven, but I sure wish I could have spent more time with him on earth. His legacy lives though. My brother is his namesake Ross Hanks Shaw and I will probably use the name Ross somewhere in my future children too. I love that name, More specifically, I love who it belonged to.

Love,
Mary Beth

This is a picture of my grandparents dancing with me in between them. I think I was around 2 1/2 or 3 years old here...

Day 23: Meghan Fitzmartin

Meghan is a dear friend to Drew and Me. She has been a friend of Drew's for the past 8 years or so. It is because of their friendship that I am blessed with her friendship!

Meghan is an awesome girl. She has more personality in her pinky than most people will ever have or encounter in their entire lives. She is spunky. She is fun. She is spontaneous. She is kind. She is thoughtful. These are of course just a smattering of all the reasons why we love Meghan.

The past two days we received 2 Christmas cards from Meghan and the most unique Christmas gift we have ever been given. It is seriously cool. She sent us a copy of Dr. Seuss' "Green Eggs and Ham". At first when we opened the package we were a little bit confused. We looked at each other and sort of laughed. Then we read the card. Meghan decided that she was going to start a little tradition of giving us a new book each year for our future children. Then she went on to say that since she knows that is probably a while away, when the kid finally arrives he/she will have a great collection! I thought that was so cool. I really liked that idea and it was so thoughtful and creative! We wrote "To the 1st Darr child from Meghan Fitzmartin, December 2010" on the inside cover. It was a sentimental moment. It was pretty cool and the first present we have ever received for our child.

Meghan is such a joy to be around. She is so positive and funny. I get so energized by being around her. Whenever Drew would have a theatre performance in college she would come down and stay with me for a day or two. We would stay up until 3 or 4 am just talking. It was so nice to have her friendship. It was a connection to Drew's past and new friend for me! We got along great and have always had a lot in common. I am so glad she is so mellow and just plain nice. So many girls get all "high school drama" when someone starts dating their best guy friend. Meghan never did that. Not once. She is great.

Meghan has a great relationship with the Lord. He is the number 1 passion in her life and that is incredibly obvious. She is a prayer warrior and a woman of faith. I love that about her.

Meghan,

You are so beautiful inside and out. Drew and I are so thankful for your friendship. I am beyond thankful for your friendship to Drew during his high school years. You taught him well! He knows how to treat a lady, which is no doubt in part to you! I am so blessed by knowing you! I only wish we got to see each other more often! You are so sweet and so thoughtful. You are appreciated. I love your personality and how original you are. You truly are one of a kind. Thank you for being so nice to me and making me feel welcome into your life! That meant so much to me.

Love,

Mary

This is a picture from the very first day I met Meghan. She is on the far right next to Drew! 

Day 22: Reagan Bowles

This is a super fun post to write because Reagan is not even old enough to read it yet! Reagan is my cousin Jessica's baby. Reference an older post about Jessica Bowles. Jess is the closest person I have to a sister, so of course, I call Reagan my niece. Or "niche" if you want to get specific. (Long story).

Reagan is around 14 months old. She is a princess-diva. Seriously, this girl has some major 'tude! But it only makes sense knowing her mama and her "auntie".

When Jessica called and told me she was pregnant I got so excited that my knees gave out, I fell to the floor and started crying. (Yes, I am a bit dramatic sometimes). I WAS SO EXCITED. I could not wait. I knew from that moment that Jess was having a girl. I don't know why I knew this, but it just seemed right. When Jessica called to confirm my suspicion I was even more excited. My mom and I instantly started shopping for baby clothes. I was nervous though...I did not really understand or like babies and they did not really understand or like me either. Would this little girl like me? Would I like her? It was very stressful and perplexing to me.

I remember the day she was born. I got a text message with a picture at work and of course, started crying. I was working at a gym then so literally every single person I checked in I showed the picture of Reagan to! I was so happy! I just could not wait to talk to Jess & Scott and hear all about this beautiful baby. Again, I have never  personally been excited about a baby being born until now. I don't think I was really old enough before this point to "get it".

Drew and I got to meet her Halloween weekend last year when she was just a few weeks old. She was tiny. Tiny, tiny, tiny. She was so much smaller than I was even when I was born! She had this thick black hair and these perfect little fingers. She was beautiful. I thought she was so fragile though. It took me 3 days before I would even hold her. I was so nervous. She was also a very unhappy baby at this point because she had horrible reflux that made her very uncomfortable. It made everybody very uncomfortable actually with all of the screaming. It was wonderful birth control for Drew and me!

Since that time Reagan and I have bonded. I have been able to spend lots of time with her over the past year. I saw them over Christmas last year. I made a trip to SC to see them before our wedding. I saw them during the week of the wedding. A few weeks after the wedding. Etc. It is so crazy to me how much she changes even just from one week to the next! She grows and develops and it is really cool!

Reagan is walking now. She is actually running around like a little monkey! She is funny and talks a little bit and laughs a lot! She loves cell phones, shoes, and purses (a girl after my own heart)! She also loves a good bath! It is so adorable.

It is so interesting to me how I can love this little girl so much, yet not really know her yet. Does that make sense? I mean, we have never had a heart-to-heart. I don't know what she wants to do with her life, I don't know what she believes, but I do know that she is glorious and has God's thumbprint all over her. I miss her. I love seeing her. I love getting pictures of her.  A few weeks ago Jess sent me a "drawing" Reagan did for me. It was great! I put it on my refrigerator!

Reagan,

I know you can't read this yet, but someday when you can, I hope you know that you have been loved since before you were born. You are beautiful. You are hysterical. You are smart! I love playing with you and getting to spend time with you and your mommy and daddy. I think you are the coolest little girl ever. I can't wait to see you again. Come see me in Carbondale! I will spoil you! (Not like you are not already spoiled!). I pray that you grow up loving the Lord and pursue after Him all the days of your precious life. I am so blessed by you sweet little girl! I love you very much!

"Auntie" MB

This is a picture of us at my Bridesmaid's Brunch. She was an honorary Bridesmaid of course! ;)

Day 21: Alexa Felice

Alexa Felice is one of my favorite people. She is my brother's wonderful girlfriend, but I also count her as one of my friends. She and I really do go very far back! I knew her when she was in middle school. We both went to the same private school and I even assistant directed the middle school play she was in. Truth be told I really liked her back then! I thought she was one of the sweetest, kindest, prettiest, and most talented girls. I can't imagine anyone not liking this girl because she is truly one of the nicest people I have every met.

Alexa has a lot of things going for her, but her faith and commitment to the Lord are by far her best characteristics. It is obvious that she loves God because of her life. She lives in a way that makes her stand out from the world and people can't help but see Jesus in her. She helps others, teaches Sunday School classes, goes on mission trips, but honestly lives a witnessing life everyday. I have learned a lot from her example. She is a Godly woman.

Alexa is so smart. She excelled in high school and will do the same in college I am sure. Despite her academic excellence,  she is incredibly humble. She is currently studying psychology at UGA (which I, a former psych major, am thrilled about) and will be very successful no matter what she ends up doing someday. Although I must say, she is such a tender hearted person and a good listener I think she would make an outstanding counselor!

Alexa is lots of fun! Seriously, she has an AWESOME sense of humor. I love hanging out with her! Drew and I always enjoy double dating with Hank and Alexa. We had such a blast all going to Arkansas  together. I can't wait to see her over Christmas.

Alexa has amazing style. She always looks so cute and has the cutest clothes! She bought me a purse for my birthday that is my favorite purse ever. I carry it everywhere. It is adorable!

She was such a huge help during our wedding. This girl ironed table cloths, covered strawberries in chocolate, helped set-up and decorate, for serious! We could not have done it without her help. She has such a generous spirit.

Alexa,

I think you are just delightful. I enjoy your company so much and truly value you. I am so happy that you and Hank are dating. You are a wonderful girl with such Godly qualities. I am so encouraged by the life that you live. Thank you for being an intelligent, kind, faithful woman. You are a great example for so many girls at UGA. I am proud to be your friend! Thank you for being a great friend to our family. We love you and the rest of the Felice family so much! Looking forward to seeing you soon!

MB

This is a picture of Alexa, Hank, Drew, & Me from Christmas Last Year

Day 20: Barbara Baker! Where is she???

Barbara Baker has been on my mind a lot lately. Perhaps it is because my tree, "Barb" (Barbara's namesake) has recently birthed 5 new branches. I refer to them as her babies and Drew denies that he even knows me. Who is surprised by either one of those facts? Anyhoo....

Barbara Baker. Lovely. Talented. Beautiful.

Barb and I go way back. By way back I of course mean back to our freshman year and freshman dorm at PBA. Ahh the good ol' Baxter days. One of my very first memories with her was when she invited me to watch the notebook with her and some other girls because I had never seen it. I bawled like a baby and understood why she insisted so fervently that I see the movie! Good flick! Regardless, I think this was the first night Barb and I became friends.

Barbara and I have so many fun memories together! We were in acting class together, Freshman Showcase, ALICE, we were neighbors (and she was often our "extra" roommate), we went to church together often, and had lots of fun parties!

One of my favorite memories of Barbara was when I lived in Baxter 206 with Megan and Shick (different semester for each girl). My roomie and I would open the locked door to our room and to our surprise find Barb watching a movie and eating popcorn in our room. It has never ceased to amaze me how Barb got into our room. I often asked if she had a key or something? No key. Just skills. Maybe a little witchcraftery or something....I don't really know! :)

Barb also liked to take naps in my bed when I was not around. I would often come home and find her curled up in my bed like a kitty cat. Because of this I started referring to Barb as my kitty cat. (She does a great cat impression by the way).

Speaking of impressions! Everybody remember the bull dog from Lady and the Tramp? This guy:

Barb does the most amazing impression of him I have ever seen and could ever imagine. No joke. She gets completely into it! She throws her arms into and scrunches up her face. It is GLORIOUS. I could close my eyes and swear to you it was a clip of him from the movie. You wanna talk about talent? This girl has it.

Barbara is a sweet friend who really cares about others. She is wonderfully artistic and talented. She is a blast to hang out with and always keeps me laughing. She is an old soul I think. She has a nature about her that makes me think back a few decades to a simpler time. I think that is really cool. I am incredibly interested about where Barb is going in the future! I am very excited about where her talents will land her! She will no doubt be very successful.

Barbara-

I miss you so much! I am so excited for your upcoming college graduation! I so wish I was going to be there to celebrate with you! I can't wait to see where you are going and what you will be doing with your life!  God has amazing plans for you and He has obviously blessed you with generous talents and a kind heart. You will be successful wherever you go. It has been such a pleasure to get to know you over the years and watch you grow and blossom into a beautiful, confident woman. I am blessed to be your friend and to know you.

All my love!

MB

This is a picture of Barbara and me in London a few years back....

Day 19: Gigi Locke

You all know that I write my blog each day based on someone who came to mind that day. Today, for some reason, my beautiful cousin Gigi kept coming to mind. This is an especially difficult entry because Gigi passed away in October of 2009.

Gigi was a lot of things to a lot of people. She was a wife, a daughter, a mother, a sister, a granddaughter, a cousin, a niece, a friend, as well as so many others. She was, and still is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. Gigi was so incredibly kind. Her heart was so big and so fun. She loved to make a party out of every occasion. And trust me, her parties were fabulous!

Gigi had amazing style. She always had the cutest clothes and she was a great shopper! She was always telling me where to find great deals. Her home was beautifully decorated. It felt so customized, in the sense that you could walk in the front door and tell that the Locke family lived there. You always felt so at home and so cozy. I loved going to the Locke house and I still do.

Gigi had an amazing faith. Her faith was so strong despite her sickness. Through her life she claimed the Bible verse Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". She clung to this verse and proclaimed it constantly. Our family holds a song by Casting Crowns near to our hearts. It's called "Praise You in this Storm" and it was the song playing on the radio in the car after Gigi was diagnosed with cancer. It is a beautiful song with poignant lyrics, and the entire Locke and Markham family lived out the message. God was praised in the midst of such a tragic storm.

I have so many fond memories of Gigi. She was around 17 years older than me and lived in Georgia when I lived in Arkansas, so I rarely got to see her when I was young. But, when she came to Arkansas I was always so excited to see her. She was one of my "cool, older cousins"! When we moved to Georgia a few years later it was so nice to get to know her and her family better. I always loved hanging out with the Lockes. Gigi and Patrick's kids are awesome. They are so much fun to hang out with and are all so strong! I love them all so much and wish I lived closer so I could see them more often.

One of the most influential things I have ever heard from someone came from Gigi. A few weeks before she passed away she said the following about God's Grace and Patrick recorded it:

Through all of this, what God has really laid on my heart the most, has been God’s grace.  I thought I had a good head knowledge of what grace is in our lives…but I didn’t have a full heart’s knowledge of what God’s grace is.  He has shown me that his grace is fully sufficient for me at the point of my need.  Not before it, not after it, but right there at the point of my need.

 I have watched Lifetime movies, movies at the theater, Hallmark movies, and thought how could someone live through that….  How could I walk into a bedroom and think your child is gone, how could you be at home and get a call that you spouse has been in an accident and is not sure he is going to make it, how can they get through this traumatic event…

Through this, “I have come to understand I didn’t need the grace to understand that in those movies.  That was not God’s will in my life.  Maybe in my life, I could use it later down the road. Maybe it would be used to walk alongside some going through some thing like this.  I could have joy, peace and understanding for that person, I could use what I know to pray for them or love them through it.  That is part of being ministers to each other.  But at that point for them, I didn’t need that grace.  But when I needed God’s grace, it was there. God’s grace was directly equivalent with the need that I had at that moment.  It was there whole-heartedly, fully and completely there for me... 

He has shown me a different way of looking at his grace.  It was just not just a ball of good feelings, and understanding that we get enveloped in.  That it is a true servant’s heart that says “God, I just want to glorify you, what ever comes of this, may you have the glory”.  It is a very different aspect of grace that I never fully understood before this.

As I talk with people, I try to share that.  I don’t want people to walk away from what we are dealing with and think, “Wow , they are really spiritual, or how can they deal with this, and home school ,and with four children.  I can tell you it is not me, it is not Patrick, it is God.  It is all God’s grace.  

All we want is for God to be gloried through this, and we want this to be used, what ever the outcome, whether what we were told a few days ago of what man and medicine thought the time that we had left,  or if it is longer or God miraculously heals me of this, that is the glory that we leave.

We pray that that God’s glory be shown and how God’s grace has been fully sufficient for us and has been real for us in this time of need.

I think that is such a beautiful testimony to God's Grace and His Glory. I loved Gigi very much. I think of her often. I don't understand God's will, but I have faith in it. I know that her testimony has affected people. It has affected me. I hope that it affects you. 

Even though Gigi is not present on this earth, her presence is so evident. You can see and hear her in the faces and voices of her children. Her legacy is alive and well. I am so thankful that she knew the Lord and that she is healed and living in Heaven with the Savior of the entire universe. What a peaceful feeling. Praise God for the Hope that comes from Him. I am so thankful for Gigi and the beautiful life that she lived. 

-MB 

Day 18: Meg Lang

I was watching an old SNL sketch today featuring Mary Catherine Gallagher and I could not help but think of the fabulous Meg Lang. Oh how I miss this girl.

Let me start off by telling the story of Meg & Mary Beth:

I met meg in our Acting I freshman class. Meg was a sweet, beautiful, talented gal. Quite frankly, she intimidated the crap-ola out of me. She had a relationship with the Lord and a faith that I did not have the maturity to understand at that point (thankfully I get it now). I was also pretty convinced that she liked Drew and vice-versa.

Our friendship only began though in Disney World. Drew had 3 free tickets to the mouse's house and invited Meg, Shick, and Me to go....or rather we begged him to take us. Shick and I did not want to go with Meg. I was terrified that Shick was going to beat up Meg. Seriously. The animosity in the beginning was not a pretty thing...However, once in the parks we put our differences aside and began what became a beautiful 3-way friendship! Ever since then we have been inseparable (minus the current miles that separate all of us). I love both of these girls like sisters.

Here are some of my favorite memories:

The Dress Up Box- In our sophomore dorm room we had a community dress box that Meg and I (all of us really) really liked playing in. We would dress up in the most ridiculous costumes and just sit around talking in weird accents making each other laugh until it hurt or someone had to rush to the restroom! It was a glorious thing.

Big @$$ Snails- One day Meg and I were walking home from a rehearsal and I saw a HUGE snail on the wall. I looked at the snail and very calmly stated that it was a "big @$$" snail". Meg nearly wet her pants. Since then, every thing has been "big @$$" and we make a donkey pun whenever we can. As a matter of fact I have made it a personal challenge to send Meg every card I see with a donkey joke on it. 

I Love Lucy- Meg and I both share an affinity for Lucille Ball. When we lived in Johnson we used to fold laundry and watch I Love Lucy and laugh and laugh. We vowed to put together our children's cribs someday together while watching I Love Lucy. I so hope we live close enough to do this someday. 

Birthday- One time Meg told some random 65 year old man named Hank Shaw on facebook Happy Birthday thinking that it was my brother. She then followed it with "You look so old my friend!" again, thinking it was my 18 year old brother. I have no idea how this confusion happened, but I have not laughed this hard in a really, really long time. 

Chicago- Meg has a beautiful family and a lovely home just outside of Chi-town. We took an aMaZiNg college trip up to her house just before Christmas a few years ago. It was awesome! We got to explore the city, go sledding, watch Christmas movies, and just hang out! Her siblings and parents were incredibly gracious hosts and it is a trip I will never forget!

Moving Night- One of my fondest, yet saddest nights with Meg was the night before she left Palm Beach to transfer schools. Shick, Meg and I stayed up all night until Meg's dad picked her up at 7am. We laughed, we cried, we took pictures, we relived memories, and we loved every moment of it. I know that is a memory that will always remain close to all of our hearts. 

Stalking- I like to stalk Meg. I like to draw pictures of me stalking her, make dolls of her out of Pringle Cans and then smash them, hide in Meg's bed and scare her, etc. It is a guilty pleasure and I love it. I think she has finally accepted that it is a love language of mine, and nothing really to fear! 

Meg,

Thank you for being such a wonderful friend to me. You are gorgeous inside and out! You are one of the funniest people I know and I LOVE knowing you! You have taught me so much about the Lord and I can never thank you enough for that! It is so nice to have a soul sister! We will always be close no matter how far apart we live from each other. I miss you so much! I am so excited to see what will come for you in the future! You are in my prayers always! I love you Meggie. 

MB 

This is a picture from Meg's Last night in Palm Beach....

This is a picture from the Disney Trip that made us friends!

This is an example of our @$$ jokes...from meg, to me!