Day 19: Gigi Locke

You all know that I write my blog each day based on someone who came to mind that day. Today, for some reason, my beautiful cousin Gigi kept coming to mind. This is an especially difficult entry because Gigi passed away in October of 2009.

Gigi was a lot of things to a lot of people. She was a wife, a daughter, a mother, a sister, a granddaughter, a cousin, a niece, a friend, as well as so many others. She was, and still is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. Gigi was so incredibly kind. Her heart was so big and so fun. She loved to make a party out of every occasion. And trust me, her parties were fabulous!

Gigi had amazing style. She always had the cutest clothes and she was a great shopper! She was always telling me where to find great deals. Her home was beautifully decorated. It felt so customized, in the sense that you could walk in the front door and tell that the Locke family lived there. You always felt so at home and so cozy. I loved going to the Locke house and I still do.

Gigi had an amazing faith. Her faith was so strong despite her sickness. Through her life she claimed the Bible verse Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". She clung to this verse and proclaimed it constantly. Our family holds a song by Casting Crowns near to our hearts. It's called "Praise You in this Storm" and it was the song playing on the radio in the car after Gigi was diagnosed with cancer. It is a beautiful song with poignant lyrics, and the entire Locke and Markham family lived out the message. God was praised in the midst of such a tragic storm.

I have so many fond memories of Gigi. She was around 17 years older than me and lived in Georgia when I lived in Arkansas, so I rarely got to see her when I was young. But, when she came to Arkansas I was always so excited to see her. She was one of my "cool, older cousins"! When we moved to Georgia a few years later it was so nice to get to know her and her family better. I always loved hanging out with the Lockes. Gigi and Patrick's kids are awesome. They are so much fun to hang out with and are all so strong! I love them all so much and wish I lived closer so I could see them more often.

One of the most influential things I have ever heard from someone came from Gigi. A few weeks before she passed away she said the following about God's Grace and Patrick recorded it:

Through all of this, what God has really laid on my heart the most, has been God’s grace.  I thought I had a good head knowledge of what grace is in our lives…but I didn’t have a full heart’s knowledge of what God’s grace is.  He has shown me that his grace is fully sufficient for me at the point of my need.  Not before it, not after it, but right there at the point of my need.

 I have watched Lifetime movies, movies at the theater, Hallmark movies, and thought how could someone live through that….  How could I walk into a bedroom and think your child is gone, how could you be at home and get a call that you spouse has been in an accident and is not sure he is going to make it, how can they get through this traumatic event…

Through this, “I have come to understand I didn’t need the grace to understand that in those movies.  That was not God’s will in my life.  Maybe in my life, I could use it later down the road. Maybe it would be used to walk alongside some going through some thing like this.  I could have joy, peace and understanding for that person, I could use what I know to pray for them or love them through it.  That is part of being ministers to each other.  But at that point for them, I didn’t need that grace.  But when I needed God’s grace, it was there. God’s grace was directly equivalent with the need that I had at that moment.  It was there whole-heartedly, fully and completely there for me... 

He has shown me a different way of looking at his grace.  It was just not just a ball of good feelings, and understanding that we get enveloped in.  That it is a true servant’s heart that says “God, I just want to glorify you, what ever comes of this, may you have the glory”.  It is a very different aspect of grace that I never fully understood before this.

As I talk with people, I try to share that.  I don’t want people to walk away from what we are dealing with and think, “Wow , they are really spiritual, or how can they deal with this, and home school ,and with four children.  I can tell you it is not me, it is not Patrick, it is God.  It is all God’s grace.  

All we want is for God to be gloried through this, and we want this to be used, what ever the outcome, whether what we were told a few days ago of what man and medicine thought the time that we had left,  or if it is longer or God miraculously heals me of this, that is the glory that we leave.

We pray that that God’s glory be shown and how God’s grace has been fully sufficient for us and has been real for us in this time of need.

I think that is such a beautiful testimony to God's Grace and His Glory. I loved Gigi very much. I think of her often. I don't understand God's will, but I have faith in it. I know that her testimony has affected people. It has affected me. I hope that it affects you. 

Even though Gigi is not present on this earth, her presence is so evident. You can see and hear her in the faces and voices of her children. Her legacy is alive and well. I am so thankful that she knew the Lord and that she is healed and living in Heaven with the Savior of the entire universe. What a peaceful feeling. Praise God for the Hope that comes from Him. I am so thankful for Gigi and the beautiful life that she lived. 

-MB